I always go back to the same analogy, it’s like being at sea with no anchor or compass and I’m in the midst of the perfect storm. There are moments when the waves get me to a certain height and I can see land, those are the moments I feel hopeful, powerful, and confident. I see so many possibilities in those moments I’m rising in the churning waters. Then the storm tosses me around and I lose my barrings, and the confusion and uncertainty set in. There are moments I just wish the sea would devour me. Swallow me whole and let me sink into its belly. It would be so peaceful down there. The raging storm still above me but I’d no longer be in its clutches. I’d be free of its unpredictable nature and finally certain of my fate.